So, I've realized in the last few nights that I have a real problem. The kids generally go to bed at 7:30 and then, after they're all tucked in, I can't figure out what to do with myself. It's definitely anxiety as I sit and wiggle and wander and I can't figure out what to do with myself. I get grumpy and sarcastic (that's nothing new) and generally irritable. I realized last night that I need something to do to fill the time between their bed time and my bed time...because this "mood" I've been in is going to kill my marriage if I don't figure something out.
I know what I don't want to do:
Play on the computer
Read
Write
Eat
Watch TV
I tried just going to bed early, but I ended up getting up between 2:30 and 4 and wandering again. That definitely wasn't a good option.
So, in an attempt to get myself a "hobby," I went to Wal-Mart today and got yarn and new crochet hooks. I also picked up some knitting needles, though I don't know how to knit. I figure I can find a good website that will show me how. I just can't take the wandering jittery feeling anymore. I also got a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle in hopes that Frank and I can work on it after the kids are in bed. We used to do puzzles all the time, but it's been a while for sure.
I did talk to my doctor about it and got some Vistoril to hopefully help. So far, I haven't seen any difference.
I really, really feel like I'm on the edge of a depression. UGH.
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